Generally speaking, we refer to a discrete state/action space, when it is finite (or countable like $\mathbb{Z}$). The term continuous state/action space corresponds to closed intervals like $[-1,1]$ (or products of them). But it is true that the notion of "continuous state space" is not well-defined mathematically.
The general requirements on the state or action spaces are relatively weak. In particular, we require the state $\mathcal{S}$ and action $\mathcal{A}$ spaces to be Borel spaces. See e.g. in Puterman's Markov decision proccesses: Discrete stochastic dynamic programming book, Sec. 2.3.2
It includes all finite sets for example. In this case, we talk about discrete control. There, everything works well and is the case mostly studied in Sutton-Barto. (For $\mathbb{Z}$, it is more tricky already).
The issue comes from the additional challenges caused by uncountable action spaces. The general objective of RL is to find a policy $\pi^*(a\mid s)$ that maximises the expected return. However, such policies do not exist in general. So, some additional conditions need to be put on the action space, as well as on the reward function, in order to guarantee the existence of such a policy.
For some intuition of what could go wrong is that we want at least to be able to act (in theory) greedily with respect to some $Q$-function, i.e. $\pi(a\mid s)=\text{argmax}_{a\in\mathcal{A}}Q(s,a)$. However, we need some topological conditions to guarantee the existence of this maximum (or even supremum) on both the $Q$-function (so that it is defined and finite) and the action space.
One way is to put continuity assumptions on policies, that is we want that the actions $\pi(a\mid s)$ are selected continuously in function of $s$ (as is the case for example for a Gaussian policy parameterised by a neural network). This is where the term continuous control probably comes from. Similarly, we want the reward function to depend continuosly on $(s,a)$ and to be concave. Finally, we often put some topological assumptions on the action space: typically we want $\mathcal{A}$ to be a compact and convex subspace of $\mathbb{R}^n$. (Note e.g. in Atari calculating the $\max$ is not a problem, so the assumptions on the reward function would not be necessary).
In such a case, see e.g. Thm. 6.11.10 in Puterman, we can have the existence of an optimal continuous policy.
Now, these conditions are not the most general and there are more general formulations, see the book of Bertsekas and Shreve, Stochastic Optimal Control as an (advanced) mathematical book on such questions and the underlying measure theoretical issues. Of course, given how complex this is, it is understandable that people use simplified concepts, like "continuous action space".